On the "Good Old Days"

How many of us, especially on these cloudy, dreamlike Southern California days, let our minds travel back to another time? Another time when we were happy, or perhaps sad, but the memories are rose-colored nonetheless. The reminiscences feel safe and comforting - a lot more palatable than the confusing, stressful messes that our lives seem to be today!

I guess we can say ...the Good Old Days weren't always that great!

Our values change constantly, and we change constantly. Yet we feel beholden to certain things - that we owe people something because they were nice to us, or since we shared good times together. You don't have to stay friends with people forever! People can drift in and out of your lives at different times, coming in and out of relief as certain similarities and commonalities rise or fall. We also can feel that, because we used to enjoy a certain activity, like a sport or a hobby, that we need to keep doing it for the rest of our lives. I could make you a list, to give you specific examples; but I think it's a more powerful that maybe YOU make a list of all that you are letting go of now, or want to let go of.

I give you and myself permission - the gift of letting go. It's OK to let go of people and things. It is safe. The ceiling will not comem crashing down, and the world will not implode. Life's a playful learning experiment, after all; we don't have to take ourselves and our lives so seriously. Once we emotionally let go of issues and blocks, we are also able to release the "junk" congested in our bodies, as well as the physical "crap" and clutter that may have accumulated in our home, work, and property (including vehicles!)

I have moving boxes that have sat for three months, and also survived a few cycles of nasty, lingering illnesses. I've been processing some deep s*** mentally and emotionally recently, as a time of preparation as new stuff, new influences, new values, new desires, new people, new abilities, new rules, new lessons, and new hobbies come in to my life. The time is approaching when I'm now excited to unpack, and will be able to do so more quickly and easily than I could have before. Now I just need to make sure I catch that wave once it comes!

The Good Old Days can be RIGHT NOW!!!

Today, I saw a lady dressed in tie-dye and hippie round sunglasses, chilling at the bus stop, sitting on the grass. Why can't this be the perfect time ever, right now? What do we have to do to make it so? As humans, we have built up all these strange, artificial institutions to stop, distract, and separate us from the true enjoyment of our own beingness, and of the beauty of the earth and people all around us. Who says we can't spend our lives just ENJOYING life? What a radical concept! We have all this technology and advanced systems, yet we aren't really that happy. Maybe that is why we reminisce of simpler times. Our lives today seem built around serving something else besides us-- kowtowing to "The Man", subordinate to "The System", a cog in the wheel.

We get up every morning at a time we don't necessarily enjoy, to go to a job we don't always like, to make money that we don't feel is adequate, to spend 90% of our lives doing things that we feel are oppressive, or at least somewhat meaningless. And we repeat the same cycle over and over, every day! And then, on our days off, we often beat ourselves up for not doing enough chores on our "To Do" list. The rat race, the hamster wheel. Everyone encourages everyone else not to question the system, to not "rock the boat." And we do this... Why?

We really tend to do a good job of beating ourselves up mentally as a society. Just look at our newspapers and news -- "Woman and child die in fiery crash". Why do you want to have that huge blaring article on the front page? Is that really going to make your day go by better, to see that when you first wake up? Do we feel so guilty as a society for bad things that we've done, that we have to pummel ourselves with violent and negative images as punitive masochism? And does this chastisement even really work..?

We aren't much nicer to ourselves as individuals and families. Just by saying that our past was better than now, is not giving ourselves credit for what we are now. Sometimes we feel that we were overall, just better when we were younger. Stronger! Prettier! Hotter! Faster! With a better memory and a funner personality to boot! And less emotional baggage! Waaaah! "Why can't I go back?!!" In a way, this emotional flagellation/ masturbation (thanks K.!)is a form of escape- because then we don't have to own up to and take responsibility for the present.

Society tells us that we all have to have the same measures of success - a nice and house, a fancy car, a husband/wife, kids, a professional job, an education. We have to talk a certain way, walk a certain way, look pretty, and keep our house/living space respectable and clean. And not to mention the restrictions on behavior - for both men and women! Don't talk too loud or too quietly; don't talk about deep or sad or personal issues; don't talk about sex in public; don't talk about money; don't talk about religion, politics or spirituality. You get the idea. Society, through media such as movies and books, also glorifies rites of passage like in high school - prom, dating, parties- but those aren't usually as fun as they are cracked up to be, so we feel like we have "failed" somehow if we didn't live up to the standard.

If you could throw all of that fear-based mental colonization --some call that the ego --away, what would you look like? What DO you look like? What is unique about yourself? What are your strengths? What are you? What about you brings you the most joy and satisfaction? There is a unique combination of gifts within you, that only you have, that is your key to unlocking your secret of how you bring your Higher Purpose into the world. You have a job to do here that no one else can do. If you don't believe this, you will not see it. If you do believe that it MIGHT be a possibility, you will start to see some door opening up in your mind and soul. In the end, it really is about Faith in yourself, and loving yourself. Not in a cheesy, fluffy way- but a solid-and-tough-as-rock-and-iron kind of way. Love who you are now, but always hold a higher vision of what you are capable of, to aspire and strive towards. And that is the way we love each other as well.

We miss who we were in the past, because we haven't yet fully accepted and integrated the power and beauty of who we ARE, right now.

There may be things you may not like about yourself, and some things that you may have done in the distant past that you are not proud of. But you know what? That is in the PAST. Even something you did one minute ago, is in the past and is speedily drifting away from identifying with you. Just because you were a certain way long ago, doesn't mean you have to continue being or doing that. Anyone who tells you otherwise is LYING, and probably has their own agenda and reasons for keeping you down. You don't need to depend on anyone, or on anyone's opinion of you.

There's no way to measure all that wisdom and power you have gained from the beginning - not despite or in spite of your weaknesses and failures, but BECAUSE of them. You've grown so much. You're such a beautiful person now, you can't even see it. Maybe others do. Ask! It's a cliche, but we all mellow and gain complexity, like fine wines as we get older. The real gifts that we have to offer are the timeless ones; not what we do, but who we are. Who we BE. All the other stuff is just window dressing, accoutrements, trappings of success. They are just the clothes that you wore, that you can't take with you to the higher levels/ the afterlife anyway. Do you have that nice suit (besides the birthday suit) and dollar bills when you are born, or take them with you when you die? Those are truism, but bear repeating. It's the attitude, the aliveness, the spark of spirit that counts-- because that enjoyment of life and ourselves is the greatest gift that we can give ourselves. In the end, you realize your highest passion and your Highest Purpose are One...