Dear Stress

Dear Stress,

I've gotten to know you well over the years. I can't say we've been friends, but we've spent a lot of time side by side. You've been a constant voice in my ear for as long as I can remember. Sometimes you talk so loudly that I can't hear anyone else! Hanging out with you has been a mixed bag of blessings. You've helped me achieve a lot by giving me a burst of energy while working on projects, helping spur my motivation and finish things. You've shown me the magnitude of endeavors I have been working on - that they are a big deal, that they are new for me; and, when I complete them, I am that much more proud of myself, having survived & thrived. When you arrive, it's a sign that I am growing and being tested, and that I haven't faced this particular combination of tasks and expectations before.

However, having you around is kind of overwhelming. You form an alliance with Fear, and together, you both are dominating and overbearing. You don't shut up! You take over my body and give me horrible headaches for days on end. Not to mention you wreck my sleep, and give me stomachaches. When you are around in your excessive, out-of-control mood, you make every task go badly. I spill and break and drop things. Everything I touch turns to shit! It's like I have the anti-Midas touch. It all gets waaaay more complicated and convoluted than it needs to be. And then I see my bad mood reflected in everyone around me!! Nothing seems to go right. The internet doesn't work. Copiers make mistakes, faxes don't go through, and my car won't go five feet without blowing a fuse. I'm tired of it!

When you're around, I can't get anything done. My tasks become overwhelming, and the simplest thing takes hours to do. I can't think straight. Fear comes in and won't allow me to talk to anyone. I collapse in upon myself, and think that there's no solution to anything- that everything is doomed. I become trapped in my own thoughts. You've hurt me in the past because I let you. You were the only voice I could hear at that point. I had ignored everyone else, and you were the only one loud and strong enough to stand up to that verbal barrage inside my head. I abused myself by losing my perspective, and letting unhealthy influences that I did not like or choose infiltrate me. I thought I had no choice! I lost all sense of freedom and choice. I thought I "had" to act in a certain way. I had closed myself off to the idea of opportunity and surprise, and became a slave to the outcome of whatever I was doing. I wasn't present anymore! I let my perspective become colored by fear, and completely out of touch with Reality.

I know the solution is not to bad-mouth you. I think you are more a symptom that something is missing than anything else. You only come in as a pinch-hitter; a hotshot; a cleanup person; a last-minute solution. You are a last-warning sign that I'm doing something wrong; that I'm out of balance, and need to have more clarity and focus. You come as a sign that I might be missing something really obvious right before my eyes, and maybe refusing and resisting to take some simple action that would better my situation.

Sometimes I avoid that ONE little gesture - of reaching out to someone, or sending that text message, or asking for help -- because I talk myself into thinking "it won't help", "that's never worked before", "I shouldn't do that". I know I limit myself by closing myself off to taking actions that are scary or seem illogical or silly at the time- like asking for extra resources. You, Stress, come from the stress that we are causing ourselves in our own being. You only SHOW us what is already going on. You PERSONIFY the struggle, suffering, and oppression that is taking place in our own minds, hearts, and soul. You are simply a visual symbol. You don't make me blind -- you show me that I am blind.

So thank you for that. You have shown me that there are many options, many ways out of my situation. Sometimes I just need to sit and listen, restrain myself from taking action, and take care of myself from a basic needs perspective until I feel better. That's the idea of "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST". At other times, when I'm starting a task and am paralyzed by fear of the unknown, or perfectionism, it might be best for me to just "jump in" and do SOMETHING to start things moving. At other times, I need connection; just talking to one or a couple people- even not connected to my current project-- will lift my mood enough and make me realize how connected we really are. That little bit of love and trust is sometimes enough to reassure me that the Universe is, after all, really a safe and trustworthy place to be. Even if it's not, even if it won't stay like that; at least I will believe that it is.

Stress, since I'm now seeing you for what you are, can you help me with something? Will you accept additional responsibility? Or maybe I will give this responsibility to myself --God knows you are STRESSED enough already. I would like to ask myself to slow down for a minute and listen to myself when you come along. What am I ignoring? What am I missing? What needs to be learned here? When things get stressful externally, it's time to go within. Sometimes the most important thing is to manifest what I truly want out of the situation, instead of reactively escaping from the stress and pain of the so-called "problem".

Please let me see what incredibly grand OPPORTUNITIES it presents. Please act as an impetus for me to see my own strengths, and my own desires in the situation, that I might heretofore be ignoring. Because when I am really convinced of what I truly desire out of a situation, then things will go smoothly and it won't feel like work. It feels like joy, and an unfolding- a release and flowering of potential within myself that can seriously activate everything around me. Please help me see that, when I am fighting off a situation, and REALLY don't want to be here-- that rather Here is EXACTLY where I want to be and should be at this exact moment.

Even if it's hard, even if it's painful -- even if it scares me half to death and leaves me decrepit and crying on the floor at times -- I've co-created all of these situations and opportunities with the Divine Intelligence and participation of All That Is. Whatever is here, right now, is the highest expression of whatever I could learn at this time. It is useful and valuable and wonderful and perfect. Stress, please help me see it.

When I am dense--being even more closed-off and dense -- sometimes your knock on the head is all I can hear. I will need to push you away a little bit, and firm up my boundaries and protection somewhat. I need to focus on what I want in every situation, and that will put some distance between us. It may feel weird at first, since I'm so used to having you around. It can be stressful to not have Stress around, because you've been my constant companion. But now that I see you in a new way, I think it will change our relationship for the better over time. Maybe you'll change too, and make some other new friends as well.

Thank you.